Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Contrary to the name of my blog...

I am restarting this journey called weight loss. It's an old friend that I have a love/hate relationship with. I LOVE how I feel when I am done working out. I hate how I feel leading up to the workout. The dread. Alas, the journey has started AGAIN.

I always like to try something new to keep myself motivated, to accomplish a goal or to make it fun. This week I started the Couch to 5k program. C25K, for short. What's a 5K? 3.1 miles. I can do that. I used to walk that. Now, I train to jog/run it. www.c25k.com. It's a 9 week running program.

Flashback: March 8. I started Week 1, Day 1 of the program. While doing the training I felt pretty good. Then at about the 20 min mark I couldn't hack it. I had to stop and catch my breath. But I finished. I was pretty sore the next day. I took a few days off, and that lead to a week. Then it was Spring Break...blah, blah, blah. Needless to say...12 days later...I started the program again. Do I see this as a failure? At first I did. UNTIL I restarted.

Back to reality. March 20th. Week 1, Day 1 (again). This time I turned on my new favorite TV show, Parenthood. I never watched it in regular prime-time, but I saw a commercial that looked interesting, and started watching a few shows. Then I was hooked.

Now here is where it gets fun. I have the TV on. The baby monitor on. The treadmill on, and my phone too. On my phone I downloaded a super easy app for the C25K program. It tells you exactly what to do, and when to do it. Bing. Warm-up, 5 minutes. Bing. Run for 60 seconds. Bing. Walk for 90 seconds. This repeats for 20 min. Bing. Cool Down, for 5 minutes. Total of 30 minutes.

While running I felt stronger than when I ran on the 8th. I didn't have to stop. I didn't have to catch my breath. Success! Now whether running on the 8th made any difference I don't know. But what I do know is I was better. I was stronger, and thus felt GREAT.

I ran again tonight. Week 1, Day 2. Another success. I felt better, and stronger again. I also got to watch that new show again. Which is a great distraction. I made sure to concentrate on my breath. Warm-up - easy peasy. First few runs, GREAT! The I started to feel some muscle fatigue towards the end, but nothing I couldn't overcome. I found myself staring at my feet at first. Watching every strong stride. Trying to stay motivated. When I got tired of looking at my feet and started to feel weak I looked straight ahead. I kept saying in my head "Hold your head up high. Be strong. You can do it." When that didn't work, I kept on trucking anyway. It's 60 seconds. Then...as the last attempt at staying motivated I pictured my skinny self. I pictured her running ahead of me. Trying to BEAT me. Then I would yell, in my head, "You can't win!" and chase her down. That's how I overcome the "tough" parts. I will catch that skinny girl one day, but for now, she is my internal competition.

Maybe I will use her as my coach when it comes to food too. That's where I struggle. I love food. I love to cook anything, bake anything, and I love to share it. I just need to find healthier alternatives and limit the sugary snacks that are OH SO GOOD! Give me a piece of cake, and I am as happy as can be. I'll pass on the crackers and the chips, but give me a brownie or a slice of cheesecake....yum. But I digress...food is my struggle. I did it once. I can and WILL do it again. Bring on the internal competition. Bring on my skinny self saying "No you don't need fries with that." Bring on me taking control of what I want, and not letting things control me.

Along with working out, I am watching my calories too. The last time I did this I started with Slim Fast. No thinking, no planning. Just stick the cans in a bag with yogurt and some fruit, and poof...easy portion control. I make my bag the night before, then its ready for work the next day. Now I don't really agree with the plan whole-heartedly. I think for me, limiting myself to 1260 cal (approx.) is not healthy for me at this size, right now. I am shooting for 1400 to 1500 calories. Which I still think is good, and very manageable and will allow me to reach my goal (more on that later). Once I feel that I have my portions under control, I will stop Slim-fast. Then work on real food, with real calories. This is just what's easy right now, and what works for me. I still will have 1 cheat meal. Then 1 cheat day.

OK, what's my goal? Well I am not really sure. My first goal is about a 25 lb weight loss. That will put me at approximately what I was before having Jocelyn. I think at a 2 lb weight loss per week is about 12 weeks, 4 mos, or roughly mid-to-late July. Then I will figure out my next mini-goal. Hopefully by then I will be in a routine. I prefer mini-goals. Sometimes if I think about the big picture, then I get a little freaked out. I can do it. I can do anything once I put my mind to it, right? Reach the mini-goal.

To-date: 0 lbs lost, 2 work outs in this week, so far. 2 days of OK eating (Monday and Tuesday). I did have some ice cream today. (I can hear the skinny girl whispering in my ear.) It's late, I need to pack my lunch and get to bed. Goodness....here we go. If you want, join me in my journey and tell me about yours!

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