Sunday, April 7, 2013

Per the nautre of this post and pasts posts, this is not new...nothing something new at all.

I have gotten into a rut. Eating anything I want at will, with no thought or effort. This, combined with lack of exercise has caused me to gain ten lbs. Roughly 10. Could be 8, could be 11. I was at my lowest in a really long time. Like, since having Maia. That's nearly ten years. I could feel old habits creeping up. Slowly adding the pounds back on that I worked so hard to lose. My first goal is to lose those pesky ten lbs. Have a tiny shopping celebration, and then set my new ten pound goal.

This will be a journey.

This won't be easy.

I just need to remind myself of the reasons I want to do this. Sure, it feels good to be skinny. I'm not gonna lie. That's a big reason. But mainly I want to set a good example for my girls that there is a balance in life to everything. As busy as I feel sometimes, I know with a little effort I can find the time to work out 3 times a week. I am going to start just like I did before. Walking. Three scheduled 30+ minutes of walking every week. Then I am going to make a conscious effort to make any activities energy-burning. At the park, playing outside games, going on a hike etc.

Mainly, it is my food choices and I know it. I love food. Always have, always will. I just need to make 90% of my choices good. I did it before, and I can do it again. I will still have treats. I will still celebrate birthdays, but instead of 2 pieces of cake and taking the leftovers I will have one small piece. I love to bake and cook. I just have to rework recipes. Find ones that are low-calorie, low-fat, etc. Incorporate fiber, fruits and veggis. It's a mindset change.

Today - is day one. Again.

Meal plan for this week:

Breakfast - optional (oatmeal with raisins, protein shake, BelVita and a piece of fruit, yogurt) Not pre-planned, but pre-ready. To grab and go.

Monday: Tuna Wraps and a banana - small amount of mayo, tuna, tomatoes and lettuce. I will use lettuce leaves for my wrap, Danny will have whole wheat tortillas for his.

Tuesday: Turkey Sandwiches on 9grain bread with an apple.

Wednesday: Spinach salad with chicken - fresh spinach, carrots and tomatoes with low-fat ranch and grilled chicken

Thursday: 2 hard-boiled eggs, apple and whole wheat crackers (reduced-fat)

Friday - one cheat meal

Snacks - 2 per day: Yogurt, cucumbers and tomatoes, celery and peanut butter, low-fat cheese, hummus with veggies or crackers, sweet potato, steamed squash.

Dinner Menu:

Monday: Turkey Meatballs with whole wheat pasta - I like the "smart" pasta in the purple box. It might not be whole wheat, but my family likes it. Some of the whole wheat pastas feel like you are choking down hay.

Tuesday: Tacos with ground chicken - We love tacos, trying to make it healthier with ground chicken instead of beef. We will use low-fat cheese, tomatoes and lettuce.

Wednesday: Baked Turkey cupcakes topped with mashed potatoes (shhh...the turkey cupcakes have zuchiinni in it, don't tell the fam.)

Thursday: Grilled pork chops, corn on the cob and steamed white rice (most likely with a bit of soy). I have the white rice already. Once we finish this up, we will move to brown rice.

Friday: Pasta, broccoli, tomato bake - low fat cheese, healthy pasta, tomato sauce and fresh broccoli chopped. Cook the pasta according to the directions. Mix with broccoli, sauce and top with low-fat cheese. Bake for 15-20 min til the cheese is bubbly.

I also have some random "emergency" snacks planned. Because I know by the 3rd day I will be wanting some sweets. I will eat yogurt and I am going to try to get some skinny cow ice cream.

Monday, Wednesday and Friday I plan to work out for at least 30 minutes. That's the plan.

I will also have coffee. I can't really live without it. I like it, and it perks me up. Just one cup in the morning. That will probably need to count as a snack. I can't drink it i add fat free creamer and sometimes splenda.

This is me. Well I guess Day 1 would be tomorrow. If I were to gauge how I felt, it would be bloated, tired and ready for a change. I am up for the challenge. Anyone want to join me?

Friday, May 6, 2011

Whatever happened to common decency? I'm mean REEEEAAAHHHLY!

So...I left my house at 10:15p this evening to get this weeks grocery shopping done. You may ask..."Why on a Friday night are you going shopping?!?!?" Well, we have a pretty busy day tomorrow, and Sunday is Mother's Day. I REFUSE to grocery shop on Mother's Day. So, I prepared my list beforehand and off I went.

When I started the only "trouble" I had was maneuvering around the stockers and their stacks of stuff to restock the shelves. Nothing too troublesome. In fact, I remember thinking "This is pretty calm. No people. I can find what I need. Cool!" So here I am taking my sweet time, going through my list...getting this and that. Remembering we were almost out of eggs, and it wasn't on the list. Remembering that I wanted to color my hair. Yada, yada, yada.

Then it was time to checkout. I will say I am a VERY polite shopper. I patiently wait in line minding my own business, and busy myself on Facebook. Of course, there are only 4 lanes open, and each one has 4 or more people. I pick the one that is the shortest, and wait. My checker wasn't overly happy, nor was she rude. She was there, its 11:30p now, and she's probably tired. Whatever, no bother. I play on my phone some more.

It took about 20 minutes before it was my turn. I notice the person behind me only has 2 containers of salt, and I had a cart full, so I let him go ahead. He was very nice, and grateful that I let him through. I put up the divider, and start putting my stuff on the belt. Trying to keep the shelf items together, trying to keep the cold stuff together, cleaners together, produce together, freezer stuff together...all in an effort to make the checker's job easier. I then put another divider up for the person behind me so they can start putting their stuff on the belt. Like I said, polite shopper. At this point I hear some ladies in the lane next to me start to complain. I can't really make out what they were saying, but there was an anger of tone and hate that I didn't like at all. But...its midnight, and the "crazies" are out, so who am I to say anything. I push my cart up, lift the 18pk of Gatorade up for the checker, and mind my business. I do have a family to get back to safely.

I hear one of the two ladies say pretty loudly "Oh my GOD, we have GRANDMA for a checker, and have been in line for !#$%$^ ever!!!" No common decency for the people around them, the kids in my line, or the near 70 year old woman working at Wal-Mart at midnight checking out their 3 full carts of stuff!!!!! So, at this point I am distracted, and almost wanted to go help the poor woman. But a manager came over and "took over" and the sweet lady slipped in the back. I pay for my stuff, and roll my cart to my car, and load up the groceries.

By now, lots of "crazies" have shown up. My definition of a "crazy" is fairly loose. It's the pack of teens, the college drunkos, the families trying to rush to get stuff, etc. We have all been there at some point in our life. I am happy to be leaving, but can't get that lady out of my head. As I was putting my groceries up I noticed under my purse were those darn eggs. Eggs that I didn't pay for. At first I thought "Sweet, free eggs." But 2 seconds later I felt guilty, and returned my cart to the stall, and walked back in with my unpaid eggs. I see the greeter that just said goodbye to me, and he looks at me like "Why are you back?" So I explained that when I was putting my groceries in the car I realized these eggs were hiding underneath my purse and I didn't pay for them, and he goes "Wow, well....the lines are still pretty long..." and looks at me as if I should just walk right back to the car with my eggs. Let me add, he even motioned with his head for me to go back out the door. I told him "I just couldn't eat these eggs without feeling guilty. I'll wait."

I went back in line, 3-4 people deep, and the person checking out has a cart full, but they are paying. The second person in line has some soda and chips, and then the next person has a cart full, and is a family of 4. i wait. Now...does the family even look to see if I have 1 item? No. And they don't even have any of their food on the COMPLETELY empty belt yet. And I wait. They waited for the 2 people in front of them to check out and pay before putting stuff on the belt. Now, its highly possible that I am irritated at this point and I am being super critical, but its MIDNIGHT I wanted to be HOME!

I check out. Take my eggs to the car, and think about the old lady all the way home. How hard must her life be that she is working at Wal-Mart at midnight on a Friday night? How hard must it be that when she is there, people are so rude to her? I just wanted to give her a hug, and learn more about her life. I find solace in knowing that I did all I could to be polite, and thankful, and appreciative of all the people who stock shelves, check people out, and make my life easier. Even my not-so-excited checker. I smiled, said thank you and moved on quickly. I mean how many places can you go where you can buy hair color, lawn fertilizer, toys, clothes, movies, and GROCERIES at midnight?!?!?! I guess the "price" you pay is having to deal with the crazies, and the rude people.

I urge you, my very small group of followers, to take a moment to look your checker in the eye and say "Thank you. Have a great evening."

We all have many, many things going on in our lives. Even more than what we can imagine. We all have stress in one way or another. Whether it be stress from work or from stuff going on at home. Or both. We owe it to everyone to have common decency. Maybe you don't go out of your way, but at least be nice and polite to the people around you. The way I was raised is easy. You use your manners. Say please and thank you, and realize that your actions affect others. I just don't know what happened or where it went haywire, but people are mean, rude and think their world revolves strictly around them. Am I perfect? Heck no! But I am stopping now to think about my actions.

Now, of course, I am not talking about YOU reading my blog. You're perfect ;). But the others you see, the people in the checkout lines. The people you see everyday, but then walk by you as if you don't exist. The people at the mall that bump into you and don't even look or apologize. The people on the highway that think they are the only person that has somewhere to be. The people in the car line at McD's where they are in the 2nd lane and CLEARLY were behind you, and then push their way forward fighting to be first. I mean REEEAAAAAAHHHLY, is your coffee THAT important? If you are late, why are you even in the drive-thru? The sales lady at clothing store that is just trying to make a sale because she has babies to feed. The car salesmen or the furniture stalkers that have quotas to meet so they can keep their job in this tough economy. The customer service person that you spoke with to fix your phone...OK wait...I have to draw the line there. I listen and critique people for a living on their customer service skills on a phone. I can't make an excuse for that. At least not at the moment. Not in a public forum where it can used against me in the future.

Basically, all my ranting is to hopefully get 1 person to stop for a second and think...yeah maybe THAT person has feelings. Maybe THAT person had a night where their baby was up crying all night. Maybe THAT person left their house this morning after a fight with their mother, brother, cousin, husband. Maybe that person has bigger issues than you, and might like a smile instead of a butt chewing. Common decency. Where did it go?

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Contrary to the name of my blog...

I am restarting this journey called weight loss. It's an old friend that I have a love/hate relationship with. I LOVE how I feel when I am done working out. I hate how I feel leading up to the workout. The dread. Alas, the journey has started AGAIN.

I always like to try something new to keep myself motivated, to accomplish a goal or to make it fun. This week I started the Couch to 5k program. C25K, for short. What's a 5K? 3.1 miles. I can do that. I used to walk that. Now, I train to jog/run it. It's a 9 week running program.

Flashback: March 8. I started Week 1, Day 1 of the program. While doing the training I felt pretty good. Then at about the 20 min mark I couldn't hack it. I had to stop and catch my breath. But I finished. I was pretty sore the next day. I took a few days off, and that lead to a week. Then it was Spring Break...blah, blah, blah. Needless to say...12 days later...I started the program again. Do I see this as a failure? At first I did. UNTIL I restarted.

Back to reality. March 20th. Week 1, Day 1 (again). This time I turned on my new favorite TV show, Parenthood. I never watched it in regular prime-time, but I saw a commercial that looked interesting, and started watching a few shows. Then I was hooked.

Now here is where it gets fun. I have the TV on. The baby monitor on. The treadmill on, and my phone too. On my phone I downloaded a super easy app for the C25K program. It tells you exactly what to do, and when to do it. Bing. Warm-up, 5 minutes. Bing. Run for 60 seconds. Bing. Walk for 90 seconds. This repeats for 20 min. Bing. Cool Down, for 5 minutes. Total of 30 minutes.

While running I felt stronger than when I ran on the 8th. I didn't have to stop. I didn't have to catch my breath. Success! Now whether running on the 8th made any difference I don't know. But what I do know is I was better. I was stronger, and thus felt GREAT.

I ran again tonight. Week 1, Day 2. Another success. I felt better, and stronger again. I also got to watch that new show again. Which is a great distraction. I made sure to concentrate on my breath. Warm-up - easy peasy. First few runs, GREAT! The I started to feel some muscle fatigue towards the end, but nothing I couldn't overcome. I found myself staring at my feet at first. Watching every strong stride. Trying to stay motivated. When I got tired of looking at my feet and started to feel weak I looked straight ahead. I kept saying in my head "Hold your head up high. Be strong. You can do it." When that didn't work, I kept on trucking anyway. It's 60 seconds. the last attempt at staying motivated I pictured my skinny self. I pictured her running ahead of me. Trying to BEAT me. Then I would yell, in my head, "You can't win!" and chase her down. That's how I overcome the "tough" parts. I will catch that skinny girl one day, but for now, she is my internal competition.

Maybe I will use her as my coach when it comes to food too. That's where I struggle. I love food. I love to cook anything, bake anything, and I love to share it. I just need to find healthier alternatives and limit the sugary snacks that are OH SO GOOD! Give me a piece of cake, and I am as happy as can be. I'll pass on the crackers and the chips, but give me a brownie or a slice of cheesecake....yum. But I is my struggle. I did it once. I can and WILL do it again. Bring on the internal competition. Bring on my skinny self saying "No you don't need fries with that." Bring on me taking control of what I want, and not letting things control me.

Along with working out, I am watching my calories too. The last time I did this I started with Slim Fast. No thinking, no planning. Just stick the cans in a bag with yogurt and some fruit, and poof...easy portion control. I make my bag the night before, then its ready for work the next day. Now I don't really agree with the plan whole-heartedly. I think for me, limiting myself to 1260 cal (approx.) is not healthy for me at this size, right now. I am shooting for 1400 to 1500 calories. Which I still think is good, and very manageable and will allow me to reach my goal (more on that later). Once I feel that I have my portions under control, I will stop Slim-fast. Then work on real food, with real calories. This is just what's easy right now, and what works for me. I still will have 1 cheat meal. Then 1 cheat day.

OK, what's my goal? Well I am not really sure. My first goal is about a 25 lb weight loss. That will put me at approximately what I was before having Jocelyn. I think at a 2 lb weight loss per week is about 12 weeks, 4 mos, or roughly mid-to-late July. Then I will figure out my next mini-goal. Hopefully by then I will be in a routine. I prefer mini-goals. Sometimes if I think about the big picture, then I get a little freaked out. I can do it. I can do anything once I put my mind to it, right? Reach the mini-goal.

To-date: 0 lbs lost, 2 work outs in this week, so far. 2 days of OK eating (Monday and Tuesday). I did have some ice cream today. (I can hear the skinny girl whispering in my ear.) It's late, I need to pack my lunch and get to bed. we go. If you want, join me in my journey and tell me about yours!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Let the baby food making continue...

I have done well with this little project. I have steamed and pureed apples, butternut squash, pears and carrots. I think these were all pretty easy. I frozen them in an ice cube tray, and they are now sitting in the freezer. Each little portion ready to warm up in a few seconds, either under hot water, or in the microwave.

How does Jocelyn like it? She loved it! So far she has had the carrots, but she is an eater! So different than her big sis. She kicks her little feet in anticipation between each bite (see the top picture.) She has also had some prunes for a little natural remedy. Just sticking with the oatmeal alone was causing a little constipation. So she ate 1 meal of prunes with rice for about 4 days. Then we did 4 days of carrots. Next I think we are going to do squash for a few days.

My next plan is to add in some green veggies. Spinach and/or green beans. I have the whole "rainbow" mentality in my plan. We'll see how it goes. I will also be feeding her fresh bananas, and fresh avocados.

Side note: Stuck indoors on this snow day has been fun, but I am getting a little antsy. I want to get out there, but I don't want to be unsafe. So, I will stay inside. I will plan my meal plan for the next two weeks. I am going to start doing more healthy things that I can track calories. I am back to using to track my total calories. I did pretty well last week. I don't track calories on the weekend, I just try to watch portion control and sweets on the weekends. I did this last time, and it worked out great. I am going to use to plan meals again.

Lately, my meal plan has revolved around coupons. That tends to lead to a lot of processed stuff. I will incorporate a mixture of both, and see how that works out. Meal planning takes just a few minutes, and a list of what you need to buy at the store. I love it, and do it all the time. It makes it so easy when I walk in the door knowing what we are having that night. I also have it listed to my Google calendar, color coded, and it syncs to my Android phone. So, I always know what we are going to have. I just look at it quickly, and pull out some meat to defrost, and voila! We have a winner.
Blog follower challenge: What's your favorite meal? Do you plan ahead? If you could change 1 thing about your eating habits what would it be?

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Making my own baby food...

As my blog title suggests...I am starting something new. Again.

For some reason this seemed daunting, like "Who do I think I am? I have no time, not enough storage etc. etc. Well the more and more I read about it, the more excited I got about it. I already plan our family meals, so what's a few extra veggies that I can steam/bake while cooking dinner? Nothing. Easy peasy.

My plan:
Each week prepare 1 fruit and 1 veggie. Then when Jocelyn is ready to start, I have a good supply.

She isn't eating ANY fruits and veggies just yet. We started her on rice cereal on January 12th, and started oatmeal this past Saturday. This is for two reasons. 1. She is a VERY hungry girl. It was going to start soon, so why not now? 2. There is a learning curve for a baby to learn to eat. I feed her about 1-2 teaspoons of cereal at dinner time when the rest of us sit down at the table to eat. I feel good about this because it starts a very good habit of all of us eating together. We go back and forth on this. In a perfect world we would eat dinner at the table together every night. We usually do it at least 5 times a week. Sometimes on the weekends we eat in the living room while watching a movie. Or just eat at different times. I am VERY pleased that during the week we all get to visit and check in with each others day. But I digress.

I read a lot at different websites about the who, what, when, where, why and how's of baby food. The very basic techniques, the warnings about nitrates, and the suggested ages for babies to eat certain things. It's been 7 years since I last looked into baby food stuff and I forgot a lot. My favorite website is Nothing fancy, just the ins and outs of baby food. Making. Storing. Tips.

I wrote out a list of what I wanted to do, and voila! I started tonight. I figured I would start with something fairly easy. Carrots. I went to Sam's and bought a huge bag of organic carrots. I don't always buy organic, just here and there when it seems to make sense. I also bought Gala apples. These weren't organic, but I will wash them good, and peel them. I think that will be fine enough to be "safe."

I first washed the baby carrots then put them in a large pot with lots of water, and turned on the stove. After they were cooking I went ahead and read the website again to make sure I didn't miss anything or forget anything. Organic? Check. Stick Blender? Check. Ice cube trays? Check. All seems good. Then I reread the part about steaming the carrots, and not boiling them. Oh well, close enough. Steamed carrots apparently are better because they retain more nutrients. I'll remember that for the next time.

After the carrots were fork tender I drained them. Retaining about 3-4 oz of the cooking water. I let it cool a few minutes. Then I took the stick blender and blended away. Stopping about every minute to give the batch a stir and check for lumps. All good. About 5 minutes later I was done. I transferred the puree into a large Ziploc bag. Snipped off the corner, and filled each cube in the two trays. 24 cubes later...and my bag was nearly empty. Not a bad estimate of how much I would need and not a lot waste.

I bought specific baby food ice cube trays. I liked them because they had a lid that sealed the tray, thus protecting them from things falling in the food or accidentally getting spilled because they got knocked over.

Rinsed off the dishes, loaded them in the dishwasher and less than an hour later I was done. An hour? Really? Well, it might have been about 45 minutes, but that was just the waiting for the carrots to be done, a little more waiting for the carrots to cool and washing up the dishes.

Tomorrow I will pop the cubes out of the tray. Transfer them into a Ziplock freezer bag. Label it with the date and "Carrots." The move on to apples.

My plan for the apples. Wash. Peel. Core. Cut into cubes. Place in pan. Add water to just cover the apples. Then cook until fork tender. Puree. Transfer to Ziploc bag, pipe into ice cube trays. Freeze.

Two days = 24 servings of carrots, 24 servings of fruit.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Dusted off the treadmill...

I can't remember the last time I was on the treadmill. I got it two years ago. For the first year I had it I used it a lot and it helped me lose 45 lbs. I was feeling GREAT!! Then BAM! I got pregnant last Christmas and took a long break from working out. Over a year since its been used. There its been right in my room. Collecting dust. I told myself I would use it pregnant. I never did. I told myself I would start right after the baby was born, never did. Now, 3 months later, I FINALLY plugged it in.

I have a long journey to complete and starting near the holidays isn't always the easiest thing to do, but my philosophy is better to start now and lose vs. gain more and have a bigger mountain to climb. From now until December 23rd, I will be on "a diet." Then I will allow myself a little bit of splurging, and then get right back on it again.

Where am I now? Well I currently weigh 5 lbs more than I weighed right after I had Jocelyn. So, I am heading in the wrong direction. That is only 15 lbs away from the most I have ever weighed. (A number I am keeping a secret until I feel comfortable to reveal.) I have done it before and I can do it again. I have never done this journey with a newborn, and never tried to lose weight while still nursing a baby, but those are obstacles I believe I can accomplish one way or another.

Why am I telling you? Well, I feel that if I am open and honest with my journey that maybe someone(s) will join me on it too. Also, by making a commitment to a group of people who are in and around all parts of my life I have to be real. I can't go ahead and post this blog about my weight loss, and then go into work tomorrow with a double-patty with extra cheese, a strawberry shake and large fries.

What's my commitment to myself? I will eat approximately 1700 per day, and work out for at least 30 minutes 3 times per week. I talked with Danny and he is going to help me stick to my commitment.

How am I doing this? I added an app to my phone (btw - I hate the word app. Is it really that hard to say APPLICATION?) to help me track my calories and track my workouts, weight loss, etc. This week my goal is to control my breakfast and lunch, and make it to the 3 workouts. Dinner is usually a little harder for me to figure out calories unless I put a lot of work into it. So, I am saving that for my accomplishment for next week or the week after.

What am I most worried about? Lots. I am worried about not sticking to it. Getting down on myself about food choices I make. Not working out because "I don't have time." Being tired. If you haven't noticed I love food. I just need to remind myself that there are alternatives for everything. Instead of indulging in a banana split with all the toppings, get a small serving of a smarter choice. Instead of a spaghetti dinner with garlic bread, lots of cheese, etc. I will choose whole wheat pasta and add more veggies instead of cheeses.

Well...I did 30 minutes on the treadmill tonight. I think I went about 1.5 miles in that time. 1/2 way through I hit the safety magnet and reset the darn clock. I usually do that when I am jogging, and it really ticks me off!!!!! I will take 1 day of rest and then try to workout again on Wednesday. I may even try to get in the gym at work and do some weights tomorrow. I think that really helped me last time. So here we go. Let the journey begin!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

FLYing through...Day 3.

So yesterday I got tons and tons of stuff done. I read on FLYlady that you aren't supposed to do too much because you will get burnt out. I am going to try to focus on my routines and keep a shiny sink. Its shiny RIGHT now!! YAY.

I just tried to take a picture of my shiny sink, but for some reason the camera didn't like how shiny it was. The flash was messing up, and after about 5 minutes I gave up. I will figure it out and post a shiny sink pic.

I am late in starting my morning routine. I am dressed, but haven't put on my make-up. I need to make the bed and "swish and swipe." It shouldn't take me long. The baby was up a lot last night, so I have a morning routine that has turned into an afternoon routine, but I will get it done.

Its so comforting having a plan in place to tackle things at a controllable pace. Instead of looking at the mountain of things that need to be done. I just put the baby down for a nap. In her REAL crib. First time in the big crib. When she was still in that awake, but sleepy state I turned on her little music thingy and she seems to be asleep. I don't want to crack the door to peek, just in case she isn't.

Yesterday: I did some laundry. I swept and mopped the kitchen. Shined the sink, of course. I did some general pickup around the house. I cleaned toilets and bathroom counter tops.

If you are following FLYlady this week is Zone 3. Bathrooms and 1 other room. My 1 other room is going to be Maia's room. We need to donate some stuff out of her closet. That will make it so much neater in there. I mean really how many blankets and pillows does 1 kid need?? And clothes? I know there is some stuff in there that she has outgrown. Time to purge!

In the bathrooms today I am going to focus on the drawers and get rid of old stuff that has been hanging around.

Last night, I created my "Control Journal" and I am working through the things for Wednesday. These things are: Weekly Home Blessing (vacuuming, dusting, cleaning mirrors, emptying the trash and wash sheets.

A little more about the control journal: This is RIGHT up my alley. I love a list, and this list encompasses SO many things. I also have my Menu Plan in this same 3-ring binder. I think I will also put our calendar in this book. Then everything I need is RIGHT there. This is like my "perfect" plan. - If you want to find more about the plan that I am following to balance cleaning, menu planning and life please visit this site.

I know that I am only one person, and I can't do it all. But if I make lofty goals to try to get it done, and do this with organization I will be better than I was before. Well, time to swish and swipe and put on a little make-up. ;)